One of the best ways to gain an understanding of Noetic Field Therapy as an alternative medicine is to read statements by some who relate their experiences with the therapy. Below are statements by clients who had sessions with John Browning, Robert Waterman and Ellavivian Power.

Statements by John Browning's clients:

Lilia (Virginia)

"I went through Noetic Field Therapy treatments with John Browning. During treatment sessions I felt safe, comfortable, and relaxed. I had several physical sensations, like pressure and tingling.

Before: I came to understand that I needed some treatment because my life was in a terrible state. I felt depressed and stressed. Life was overbearing. I was overweight. My outlook was negative. I was so stressed I had a hard time dealing with people. I was tired physically and spiritually. I was taking antidepressants. Every morning I had a hard time waking up. I was waking up tired, stressed, angry, sad, and lonely. I did not have energy, was fatter than I wanted to be, and had a hard time moving. I was alone in life, invisible to others. If people would come close to me, they would soon want to run because of all the negativity they would get from me.

After: After Noetic Field Therapy I got some kind of base of presence. I became solid and felt like I got healthy roots. I got respect for myself. My existence got solid, meaningful, pleasant. Every morning became an adventure. I am waking up relaxed, refreshed, smiling, and ready for the exciting challenges of the day. My biorhythm changed. I never was a morning person before. Now, I am waking up without an alarm clock at 6:30 in the morning. I have a lot of energy and feel at peace. I lost some weight that I could not lose before, ten pounds came off very easily. I have lots of energy. People started responding to me differently. It feels like they are enjoying just being near me. Strangers started striking up conversations with me. Business acquaintances got more helpful and pleasant. My mind got clear, sharper, and with good concentration.

I found a quote in Lazarus: Nothing will change in your life until you do. I think Noetic Field Therapy changed me from inside. I am feeling radiant from inside, whole, solid, light (clear and peaceful light). I got the feeling that life is my playground. Life is safe and fun. Shortly after Noetic Field Therapy some positive changes started happening in my life. My business improved. I got more clients and started making more money. I got into new ventures. Projects got more interesting. People became more helpful. The quality of my work improved in every aspect."

These distance clients of John Browning recorded their experiences about a week after each session.

Gina (New York)

Session One - "I have been feeling really great. I have a lot of energy and my sleep patterns have changed. I sleep a little bit better. The Saturday after the session I was very tired and unfocused. I could not even carry on a conversation with my husband. I just wanted to sit home and have a lot of quiet time. I began to release a lot through crying for about one hour, then it stopped. All I wanted to do was sleep. Sunday after the session I felt the same way, a bit irritable, tired, and unfocused. By the time Monday was here I had a lot of energy and was feeling very happy, almost elated! I was not bothered by anything and was OK with situations that had bothered me in the past. The menstrual problems I had been having seemed to be somewhat normal after the session. The following week after our session I continued to have spiritual dreams about blossoming trees, flowers, water, things that I knew pertained to my own healing. I see a lot of beautiful colors during my meditations and dreams. The colors are always greenish blue, a lot of purple and pink. They are the most beautiful colors I have seen. For the week now leading up to our session I have been feeling very happy."

Session Two - "It has been almost a week and a half since our last session. I did not have too many physical symptoms this time after the session. The next days I felt unfocused again and tired. I did not want to do much and had a lot of difficulty getting up in the morning. When Monday got here I was very calm and felt peaceful, more relaxed than I had ever felt. I had a lot of pain in my solar plexus area but I was not surprised because that is where I hold most of my emotions anyways. I could not eat very heavy meals because I would get severe heartburn and I felt as if a weight was in my stomach area. I have a lot of energy. I have been exercising and have a great feeling of contentment."

Session Three - "I thought I would give a brief summary of our three sessions this past month. After this last session I had some unusual dreams the entire week. I had no idea the meaning of them so I just went with them. I felt tired for the three days when I was still balancing and a bit irritable. Some old high school emotions came up and emotions regarding my sexuality that I had not thought about ever. I used the protocol you gave me and worked through those intense emotions. As for physical symptoms, I just felt tired and my head hurt a bit. My nose began to run a little bit so I guess that was my way of releasing. The three sessions have been an enlightening experience for me. I have totally changed the way I think. I see situations and people in a different light. I feel as if now I am becoming closer to God. I have made peace with my mother and family and look at them differently also. I feel as if now I have the confidence to conquer any situation in life that I may be dealt with ease and love. Thank you so much for all that you have done for me. This experience was truly a gift."

Jami (New York)

Session One – "After my session I experienced three days of irritability. It was very hard to keep my patience and hard to tolerate certain situations. I was also very sensitive to people’s energies. I saw the people that I’m around most in a different way. I am able to see things that I couldn’t see before. Like for instance, a friend of mine has certain situations in her life that are difficult, so I try to help her out when I can. After I had the balancing I saw her that weekend and realized that she brings on these situations because she feels sorry for herself. So instead of helping her the way I always do, I simply suggested that she needs to help herself before she could move on. She then in turn went and bought meditations tapes and is trying to work through her issues on her own. By the beginning of the following week I was able to even out and situations that were very hard to handle at work did not see so bad. The resentment that I have for my business has dissipated some and I have come to accept that this is the lesson I am to learn. Also I had a dream that night after the balancing that the health problems that I have been experiencing for quite some time had to do with a hormone imbalance. So I took further action to go to a kinesiologist to help straighten out my system and I am currently feeling much better. I felt this experience help me to realize that I need to take care of my physical self so I can grow on my spiritual self."

Session Two – "This time after the balancing I was more focused on the friends in my life because that was the important issue that came up in my last session. I stopped trying to buy my friends and right away the ones who I felt were constantly there to take advantage of my kindness quickly stopped calling me. I am just being me and I am not going out of my way to try to impress anyone. I feel I have accepted myself and I like who I am. Also, I am not as uptight about my finances or my career as I usually am. I find I am not worrying as much about the things in the future and can enjoy myself much more in the present. I am just taking one day at a time and trying to learn and absorb as much as I can. I am also not as weepy or cry as much as I usually do. I lost two of my cats in the past month due to a disease that the veterinarians cannot find a cure for, or prevent it from happening. If this were three months ago, I do not believe I could have handled this situation as calmly as I did. I lost one cat three years ago and cried for a week straight. I feel that I have accepted this as a learning lesion, and I am trying to figure out what their deaths symbolize to me. I feel as I am going through this change that old habits and behavioral patters are dying in me, and this is represented through my cats. I miss them immensely, but I know that they are in a better place."

Session Three – "I have become very aware of my intuitive abilities. It is quite intense. Just the other day one of the massage therapists and I were talking and I was thinking to myself that she would be moving soon to a new apartment. Our conversation was not even about that topic. I saw her yesterday and she was telling me how her landlord was selling her house, and how she has till June to find a new place. I was stunned. That is just one example of many situations that have happened over the past week or so. Also I am really starting to sense other people’s energies, because just before they walk into the store I know they are coming. That has been very interesting. My imagery mediations and dreams have become very clear and crisp. I feel that the aura balancing unblocked issues that I was not aware of. It allowed me to further my growth in my inner thought world, because I felt stuck. I feel as though I can interact much easier with people. I am not afraid to talk to them and share my thoughts and feelings. I have found myself speaking my mind somewhat. It is going to take me a while to completely stand up for myself and to confront others when they say or do something that bothers me, but it’s a start. There is so many little things that I feel have changed for the good. It is almost a rebirth process. I do not feel weighed down anymore. I do not feel stuck or stagnate It is definitely a new beginning for me. I am quite excited. Thank you very much for your time. It was a great experience."

Nicole (Utah)

Session One – "I am doing very well. After the session I felt very liberated and my body felt light as a feather and I felt tons of energy for a bit. Everything seemed brighter and then I collapsed and slept for two hours. I have noticed that physically I have felt better and have been taking better care of myself. I have cut down on caffeine and cigarettes taste awful. I have been drinking tons of water. I feel like I can't get enough of it. I have noticed a sense of well-being and feeling more peaceful and loving. I have also been very happy, almost giddy at times. I have also noticed that I seem to be expending more energy and in the last week I have needed to take naps to compensate. I seem to tire easily. All week I have awakened early in the morning on my own, which is unusual for me. I haven't meditated much this week. However when I have, I found it much easier to quiet myself and the peaceful feeling has come quicker than usual. I wanted to mention to you that when you first opened my aura I felt a warm tingly feeling all over my body. I didn't mention it while we were on the phone it happened so fast and surprised me at the time. I don't know if you noticed or not but I became very nervous during the session when we started with the mental and emotional area."

Session two – "Probably the most significant change that occurred was in my diet. I have been eating a lot less and healthier. I have started walking again and have a plan to do it on a daily basis. Just as in the first session immediately after I have noticed that cigarettes taste awful and can feel my body rejecting them. I have contacted my insurance and they are sending me smoking cessation material. I have reduced the amount I am smoking and have become very conscious of each cigarette I smoke. I fought somewhat of a depression about it and keep reminding myself of your words from the first session and am encouraging myself to see it as a release and a way of opening new opportunities for myself. I have been more playful this week and am looking for some ideas for myself to express my creativity. Pottery is a love of mine and I am planning on taking another class soon. I have not been sleeping as much as I used to and I have been waking up on my own with no alarm. I have cut the caffeine in half."

Session Three – "The last session we had was amazing. I feel so much stronger. Some of the circumstances in my household have been going through changes and I feel I am so much better able to deal with them. I feel more independent and capable of handling situations with confidence. While I have modified my diet I have yet to lose any weight, but I'm sure that will come. Smoking is still an issue, however I feel the confidence gained will aid me in my will power to quit completely. I do feel connected not only to myself but also to the universe and it feels warm and assured. Thank you for this opportunity and I want to let you know your words and kindness have meant much to me."

Statements by Robert Waterman's clients:

The following case statements were obtained by Dr. Robert Waterman through a written follow-up survey of clients' experiences with aura balancing and published in his book Through the Eyes of Soul, Theory and Practice of Noetic Field Therapy (1999).

Case 1

"Through the energy clearing and self-forgiveness in aura balancing, I am aligned with the essential kindness of reality. I realize that I am having a perfect life, falls and all. All of my sufferings and joys have served to awaken me to my wholeness. While receiving aura balancing, I experienced gentle presence in moments. By bringing loving awareness to all levels of my being, I allow divine grace to flow unimpeded. Insights and understanding for which I am ready come forth.

During the two weeks after my first aura balancing, I realized how the heaviness from a certain sadness and loss that I had been experiencing for several months was lifting. Although the psychologist I had seen for ten sessions had deepened my understanding of the issues, the aura balancing was the essential catalyst to really move and clear the sadness and loss and bring true healing.

Two more aura balancings (two weeks apart) further enriched my healing. Now, six months later, I notice how my work with people, meditation, and journaling continue to be deepened by the doors that opened for me during those three sessions."

Case 2

"The practitioner made me feel very safe and nurtured. At one point, I was very concerned about going deeper. He sensed this and made a statement that made me feel safe enough to let go to a pretty deep level of myself. During the aura balancing, I had numerous emotional and physical responses. In the beginning, I worked to quiet the chatter in my mind. I began to feel myself letting go. At that point, I began to feel very emotional-lots of grief, some relief was coming up. My right arm began to ache quite a bit also. This cleared by the end of the balancing. Toward the last third of the balancing, I felt both very present and aware of my body and also very expanded to the point that I felt out of my body.

I feel that since my balancing, I have more clarity about the core issues that are needing to change. I feel that I am more aware of what "on track" feels like for me. I feel more connected to my internal guidance. Although, this was not the case for the first few days after the balancing when I felt way out of balance and almost reactive. During and around the time of my aura balancing, I had been dealing pretty strongly with issues . . .These thoughts have been kicking around within me for some time. They have come to a head since the aura balancing. It feels as though things are a bit accelerated as a result of the balancing."

Case 3

"I sense unconditional love, unconditional positive regard. I feel safe and secure with the practitioner. A space is provided in which I feel accepted. I feel that our conversation brings me to a deeper understanding of what is going on and the deeper spiritual and life lessons involved. It is as if the practitioner takes the facts as I present them and then helps me uncover the truth that lies beneath the facts. I experience the practitioner as truthful and wise and respectful and aligned with the Divine Source.

I feel very peaceful, poised, and relaxed. I feel attuned to my inner guidance. The confusion and turmoil I felt prior to the session loosened and I am more able to embrace each moment in consciousness. Obstacles seem to dissipate by the creative spirit working through and in me. I feel clear and I feel myself in my body. I feel more open and loving when I leave the session. I feel connected to myself, more aligned internally and externally. I am in a "flow" and my experiences in the world are more positive. My heart feels open.

I have learned that my healing is in my heart, mind, spirit. That it may not be physical. I am aware that no matter what happened in the past, I am not bound by previous patterns, emotional reactions, or my health challenges. During aura balancing, I feel my wholeness and have been given the understanding that peace and love are what is true. My hardships are my gifts. Aura balancing is helping me to clear away limited beliefs about myself. This created a space for healing to take place."

Case 4

"I found the aura balancing process to be very precise and thorough. It felt as if I had surgery. And the process was a powerful tool to articulate the body, spirit, and mind. It was very simple, yet deeply profound. The entire experience was life changing for me. To separate out one experience from the other, for me, would be like making a hole in a spider's web. Thematic threads of responsibility for self and others, abandonment and betrayal, and self-trust and speaking my truth ran through the entire session. I have worked on all of these issues, but somehow during the session I was able to relive these experiences deeply and vividly beginning at a traumatic experience at age four and understanding how these themes have continued to play out in my adult life.

I feel much freer, energetically lighter. I feel more in touch with my emotional needs. Energetically, I feel "smoother", like there are less openings or wounds to be hooked into. I feel very clear so that I can feel the motivation of others in my body. It has been almost a month and I feel much lighter. I feel a greater ease facing issues, almost as if they are being handled from me. A much clearer and profound contact with my soul. I feel connected to God, my soul and my body. I am aware of a deep peace that is always with me no matter how chaotic it is around me. I find it easier to be myself and to be honest with myself and to speak my truth with others. I am aware of making different choices and the difference between how this feels and how it feels when I slip into old patterns. It's much easier to choose something new and to feel okay with the new feeling."

Statements by Ellavivian Power's clients

The following were clients of Ellavivian Power. Their interviews are transcribed from The Healers videotape produced April 30, 1992 by Karen Cherniack and Lightvision Productions.

Shiva

SHIVA: Well, I was very – I had quite a cause about my work. But the clinic I worked in was an alternative women's feminine clinic; and it was anti-male. It wasn't just for women at the time. And the work I did as a midwife was definitely against what was going on in obstetrics at the time.

BOB ROUNDTREE: At one time in her life, Shiva was a '60s-style crusader, intent on changing the system. Her idealism and compassion for women in childbirth led her to become judgmental and antagonistic towards the medical establishment, other health care professionals, even God.

Unaware of her anger, Shiva was hurting herself and her hopes of helping others. It was her unforgettable experience with Ellavivian Power that put Shiva's life on a positive course.

SHIVA: Well, I can still see her, the first time I saw her. That's how strong it was for me. I turned around on the sofa I was sitting on, because I was being called into the aura balance room; and I turned around, and there was this little fat, white-haired lady wearing a chiffon scarf and a polyester suit, and I knew it was wrong. That wasn't -- this is not what I came for. This -- nobody like that could help me. That was the rigidity, the way I saw things at the time. As soon as she started to speak to me, I was awestruck, and I don't remember the first words she said. It was even, maybe, even a question, you know, like, "Well, tell me about what's going on in your life," or something pretty generic like that.

And then she just pulled out her shotgun and pointed it at me, figuratively, and, you know, held it right up with her hand on the trigger and said, "Why did you do that to yourself?"

And it -- pow, you know, pow. I didn't know what she was talking about. To me, I was just telling her about what was going on in my life, and the challenges, and the way people were wrong. Here she was, asking me why I did that to myself. I didn't like it when you told me, but it was perfect the way it was. I didn't like it at all.

ELLAVIVIAN: Well, the reason I did that was because I could touch into the anger that you had inside, and how destructive it was to you personally.

SHIVA: Uh-huh. I had no idea what she was talking about. But I knew she was asking me something really important. But in order for me to even respond to that question, I had to get bigger than I was, because there was no way to answer that question with the world the way I knew it.

ELLAVIVIAN: And I know that when you came in to talk to me, you were filled with tears and compassion for women and what they had to do and go through in childbirth.

SHIVA: Yeah.

ELLAVIVIAN: And I felt my heart go out to you, because you were really emotionally suffering. But I also discovered that under that deep compassion for women, there was a deep anger toward God, because he had programmed it this way. And I knew that for you to grow spiritually and in your soul, that you needed to accept the program the way it is in order to supply energy into changing it, and that you needed to change it in your consciousness.

SHIVA: I was responsible for every single thing in my life in one way or another. I was responsible for it being there, and that there was actually a wisdom behind it. Not just that I was responsible and made a mess of things, but I was responsible with an intent behind it.

What she did, though, was take that sense of accountability and go for the positive intent in it with me, so that I didn't have something to hold against myself. You know, I could have gone, "Oh, oh, no, I want to be a martyr. How disgusting, how embarrassing. Oh, I’ll just die right here. I can't live with that humiliation." But what she did was keep going to what my higher intention was with it.

ELLAVIVIAN: And in your acceptance, and in your forgiveness, then, you've made great changes and great strides in your own soul growth.

SHIVA: Uh-huh. The difference is remarkable, how it is not to fight what's going on.

What it did for me was move me to a greater compassion for myself, for not knowing any better; for seeing that I was making the best choice I could at the time about something, or the best assessment, even, about it; and to forgive myself for not knowing better for such a tender and compassionate approach to myself, that had nothing to do with being the fighter that I was before that time. Nothing to do with that. I was just very macho and nasty with myself. Just so nasty. And self-forgiveness brought a much more softer and tender approach and let me release those things much quicker.

I can't make anything more important than loving myself. There's nothing I could do or say or any way I could be that could be bigger than my love for myself; or if I do that, the consequence is really negative. But when I make my loving more important and override anything else, that's what self-forgiveness is.

And I went back to work after that absolutely changed, unqualifyingly changed in my approach to my work. My greatest intention in the work that I do now as a therapist would be to continue to help people learn how they are making their lives the way they are, to forgive themselves for any judgment they have about the way that they've made it so far, and to realign with their own positive motive of growth, to keep creating what they really want in their life, and to know that someone else cares.

I had been waiting all my life for someone to talk to me like that. It's what I had wanted forever, for someone to be so essential in their communication with me that they would not have regard for my personality or the games I played and the pretenses that I brought. And boy, you know, I'm just laden with pretense -- but with a good heart, you know. Obviously, my intention must have been pretty clear, or she wouldn't have been able to slash me so well.

Billie

BILLIE: During that time, I'd become very ill and was taken to the hospital. And I spent about 60 days in a Taos hospital with this disease, according to the doctors. I was in and out of consciousness. I had fevers up to 108 degrees.

BOB: About 20 years ago, Billie was living life on the wild side. He developed a set of symptoms that defied diagnosis, a disease which medical doctors simply could not identify. He was dying. It was at that time that he met Ellavivian Power, and his life would never be the same again.

MARK HOCHLENDER: Now, I want to understand, so --you got this fever, you're dying. What did you think at that point?

BILLIE: I come from a lot of abuse as a child. Physical, sexual, horror stories. A lot of guilt. A lot of lack of self-worth. No good. Don't deserve to live. Bad person. And when the doctor finally admitted that there was nothing medical science could do for me, I was dying, I mean, I felt great about that. You know how people don't want to die and all? I said, this is cool. I thought it was great.

So they carried me to the car. I couldn't walk. I just -- you know, I looked like a hockey stick with hair, right? And then, the next day, it would come term for me to get an aura balancing, which I didn't know what that was yet. So I go over to the Quimby Center. I'm carried over there, and I'm in a living room with about 15 people, and Ellavivian Power comes out. And apparently she's the woman who's going to work with me, the person who's going to work with me. And we're talking, and you know, I'm dying, and you know, I'm dying. And she -- at one point, she says to me in a very loving, motherly way, she says, "Billie, don't you want to live?" And I said, "I don't know." And she screamed at me, and I won't scream as loud; it'll blow you away. But she screamed at me, "Then get out!!" So I thought she meant get out of the house, you know, and I'm dying. But she didn't mean that. What she meant, I found out later, was that, you know, I mean, you, you have life, man. If you don't want to live, then get the hell out and let somebody else that wants to. That was the essence of what she was saying to me. I think she was also setting me up, too, because she really got my attention.

ELLAVIVIAN: Can you tell me why you came?

BILLIE: To you?

ELLAVIVIAN: Uh-huh.

BILLIE: I was dying.

ELLAVIVIAN: And I said, if you want to die, you know how to do that.

BILLIE: Yeah, but not here.

ELLAVIVIAN: And so you need to make up your mind if you want to live. And if you want to live, I'll do everything in my power to assist you in your choice.

BILLIE: They schlepped me back to a balance room, and they put me on this table. It was really weird, you know. And her -- she was the main person, and then there were a bunch of people, I guess they were called light-bearers. They were going to hold the light for me. I mean, I don't know what the hell they were talking about. There was no flashlights. And she started working with me with a crystal pendulum, swinging around my body. First she said a prayer, and I don't remember verbatim, but she called on the Holy Spirit, she called on the Christ, you know, Moe and Larry; and she starts working with this pendulum with me.

ELLAVIVIAN: I went in, and I opened the aura.

BILLIE: Opened the aura?

ELLAVIVIAN: Uh-huh. I used my crystal pendulum to open the aura right over your heart. That's where your universal connection is. And I began to ask you questions about how you had arrived at this state of ill health.

BILLIE: At one point – and I'll never forget this -- at one point, this is a sweet old lady, man, right? I mean, this is a white-haired, sweet grandmother. I mean, it's everybody's grandma. At one time in the balancing, it got so difficult for me that I started getting a little jive and started doing a little two-step, like. And she smashed me on the shoulder -- man, she hit me so hard I couldn't believe it. She got my attention. And the whole balancing ended with a series of self-forgiveness, because she tied in some Bible stuff, like the Kingdom of Heaven is within, and God lives within the Kingdom of Heaven, right? And then she'd tie in where Jesus says, you're created in God's image, so if all of that is true, how can you be unworthy?

So, you know, I'm going -- I'm doing a little dance, like, you know, maybe I am okay. And it was the first time in this life time when I started looking at the possibility that maybe I am okay. And I didn't understand the purpose of all of this self-forgiveness stuff that we were doing; but I went along with it, because I didn't want to catch another rap on the -- somewheres, you know.

So the balancing is over. They carried me back to the house. For the first time in three months, I was able to get up and walk a little bit. Walk, you know. I cooked a spaghetti dinner that night. I gained 15 pounds. I didn't eat 15 pounds of spaghetti, but I gained 15 pounds of --

MARK: That night, Billie?

BILLIE: That night. The next morning, when I got on the scale, I weighed 116. I weighed 101 when I got there; and my normal weight is usually about 175. So I'm observing all this, you know. I mean, whatever happened -- I didn't know what the hell happened, but whatever happened was working.

I think I was about 36 when I met her, and I had been drunk for 20 years, because I couldn't stand the way I was, you know. So she was dealing with all of -- we were dealing with all of that dynamic and all of that lack of worth stuff.

MARK HOCHLENDER: So, Billie, give me an example of the kind of impact that this had on you in your life.

BILLIE: Within six months, I had my normal weight back, my strength back. The disease mysteriously disappeared, which to this day they don't know what the hell it was. They've got that blood sample of this new disease, you know, which went away. Ain't nobody else got it. So it was an astonishing experience.

ELLAVIVIAN: It's incredible, the way that the energy will release out of that when someone says "I forgive myself." And then forgiving themselves, for creating it for themselves, for passing a judgment on themselves, for feeling guilty about whatever caused it -- there's many, many implications in it.

The person may even feel it in their physical body. They may have been carrying it for years and never known that they had any energy block. But when it's released and the energy flows back through again, they feel a lot better.

BILLIE: So through a series of self-forgiveness, I was able to take care of that. I didn't understand what they were doing, but it was working. I was feeling this incredible energy. I was feeling stronger than I had felt in a long, long time.

Eventually I worked into a position where I assisted Ellavivian in the balance room once in a while by holding the light, which is very difficult for me, because I wanted these people to get it so bad that I was sitting there going, you know, "Forgive yourself," and all that. And they were always telling me, man, just knock that off, you know. Just be neutral. Just hold that loving light, and let them do what they do. I wanted them to do it, you know.

I had this dream of some day doing a children's home. And at that time, in running that saloon, I was drinking a bottle of VO a day. I weighed 250 pounds. I had all the material trappings that anybody could ever aspire to, and I was just dying. I mean, I was killing myself with booze.

And it's just obviously clear to me today that if I hadn't met this woman, the home never would have happened. Nothing would have happened. I would have died. I would have either drank or drugged myself into the grave, or that disease I created would have killed me. So without her assistance, her intervention in my life, I mean, I wouldn't be sitting here today. I mean, she had this profound, profound effect on my life. In me empowering me, I think, is the bottom line.

The consistency, over the last 19 years observing this woman in a healing context, to me is astonishing. You know, it's not like once in a while, somebody gets better. You know, we're talking about people who fly from all over the world, you know, to come in and have a balancing from this woman. Well, in the balance room, I saw people with profound disease and sickness walk out of there healthy, only healing themselves. It's not like it was done to them.

Well, the difficulty that I had -- I remember this like it was yesterday -- it was, I had been raised with victim and not take a lot of responsibility. And when you get sick, you're a victim, right?

ELLAVIVIAN: Uh-huh.

BILLIE: I mean, the concept that maybe I had something to do with that illness was just --

ELLAVIVIAN: Overwhelming.

BILLIE: It was. I mean, it was like you were talking to me in Greek or Martian or something.

ELLAVIVIAN: Well, I remember that I asked you. Are you responsible for the food you put in your mouth? And you said yes. Are you responsible for the roof over your head? Yes. Are you responsible for brushing your teeth every morning, taking care of your body, feeding it, et cetera? And you said yes. And I said, well, where do you think your responsibility ends and then it's done unto you? And then you got the concept that you're responsible for the whole thing.

BILLIE: Yeah. I wasn't real crazy about that.

ELLAVIVIAN: No, no, you weren't.

And we do create and promote and allow everything that happens to us, regardless of whether we know it or not or if it's in our conscious awareness or not. And that's more or less exactly the same concept that we work with today. Releasing it out of the subconscious, becoming aware of the distortion against the capital T truth, and forgiving yourself and putting yourself back in tune with God.